He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
