I hate your face
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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