You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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