and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
