idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
