Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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