I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm