ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just high enough for therapy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?