R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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