We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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