Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now