I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything