what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
