No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
