life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
