I love black thongs
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
