He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
