we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
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I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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