I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
