Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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