Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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