Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
