why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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