The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
