I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
