your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
