I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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