It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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