I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
