How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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