But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you had me at cake vodka
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
