It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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