i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
