last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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