oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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