i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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