Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today