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dude i'm inner monologue high
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Randomize
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