If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning