Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.