do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
