a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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