my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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