Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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