id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
