I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
