I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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