At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
