And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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