By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
