your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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