You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
