she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
