I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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