I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
