I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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