where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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