I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
