dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm