oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
