I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
