Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
OPIZZABONMYDICK
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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