he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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