thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize