Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
