Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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