I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
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I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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