I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
