They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
