why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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