the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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