And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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