I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
